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Funny Office Jokes and Humorous Work Stories, Nov 6 2008
Funny Office Jokes and Humorous Work Stories
Office Jokes
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Really Funny Office Jokes and Funny Work Stories.
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STOPPING BY THE OFFICE ONE DAY

Funny Office Jokes and Humorous Work Stories, Nov 6 2008
Funny Office Jokes and Humorous Work Stories
Office Jokes
: Home : Jokes : Office Jokes
Funny Office Jokes
Really Funny Office Jokes and Funny Work Stories.
Office Jokes

Laugh Break - Job Applicants, Nov 6 2008
Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.
Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office.
When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.

kids-jokes.com | The Dam Letters, Nov 6 2008
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Laugh Break - First Name Basis, Nov 6 2008
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What's your name?" he asked the new guy.

Laugh Break - Idiots, Nov 6 2008
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

Laugh Break - Computer Trouble, Nov 6 2008
Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Well, turn on the office light then.

Laugh Break - Ethics From A Lawyer, Nov 6 2008
"If a little old lady came into your office to pay her fee with a hundred dollar bill, left the office, but you then discover she had actually given you TWO one hundred dollar bills tightly stuck together by mistake..., would you tell your partner about the mistake or not?"

kids-jokes.com | Idiot Sightings, Nov 6 2008
IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

Animal Jokes, Funny Pet Stories and One Liners from the Comedy Zone, Nov 6 2008
Office Jokes
EMERGENCY IN THE VET'S OFFICE

Animal Jokes, Funny Pet Stories and One Liners from the Comedy Zone, Nov 6 2008
Office Jokes
EMERGENCY IN THE VET'S OFFICE

Laugh Break - Lost Luggage, Nov 6 2008
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

Laugh Break - Stamp Denominations, Nov 6 2008
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

Laugh Break - How To Attend A Meeting, Nov 6 2008
2. Meetings where there is some alleged purpose. These are trickier, because what you do depends on what the purpose is. Sometimes the purpose is harmless, like someone wants to show slides of pie charts and give everyone a big, fat report. All you have to do in this kind of meeting is sit there and make up elaborate fantasies, then take the report back to your office and throw it away, unless, of course, you're a vice president, in which case you write the name of a subordinate in the upper right hand corner, followed by a question mark, like this "Norm?" Then you send it to Norm and forget all about it. (Although it will plague Norm for the rest of his career.)

Laugh Break - Marketing Vs. Support, Nov 6 2008
An inter-office softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company.

Laugh Break - Cured, Nov 6 2008
A woman went to the doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.

Laugh Break - What Do You Say?, Nov 6 2008
While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year-old son with her. Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?"

Laugh Break - Seinfeld Monologues, Nov 6 2008
Frankly, I don't believe people think of their office as a workplace anyway. I think they think of it as a stationery store with a Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.

Laugh Break - Dilbert Quotes, Nov 6 2008
As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR Director's office, and was told that the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for "perverts" (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The H.R. Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out, directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation letter by pasting words together from the Sunday paper.

Laugh Break - Who Woulda Thought?, Nov 6 2008
--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".

Laugh Break - Letters To Dear Abby, Nov 6 2008
DEAR Sam: Yes, Run for public office.

Laugh Break - Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?, Nov 6 2008
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Laugh Break - Answering Machine Messages, Nov 6 2008
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

Laugh Break - Resume Mistakes, Nov 6 2008
I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail.

kids-jokes.com | What Do You Call Your Man, Nov 6 2008
Office Lingo


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