Jokes Index I Search Results:

Looking for lawyer in entire archive - Found 64 matches in 41 files
Showing results 1 - 25
Funny Lawyer Jokes and Humorous Lawyer Stories, Sep 6 2009
Funny Lawyer Jokes and Humorous Lawyer Stories
... 14 A PIED PIPER VARIATION 15 WHILE DINING AT THE COUNTRY CLUB 16 THE SNAKE AND THE RABBIT 17 A STRANGE STORY 18 AMAZINGLY TRUE STORIES FROM AMERICAN COURTROOMS (10) 19 MORE AMAZINGLY TRUE STORIES FROM AMERICAN COURTROOMS (10) 20 A ROMANTIC AT HEART 21 IT'S A MATTER OF TRUST 22 THE YOUNG ATTORNEY ON VACATION 23 ON HEARING THE NEWS 24 ARRIVING AT THE PEARLY GATES 25 QUICKFIRE LAWYER GAGS 26 A MOST UNUSUAL DEFENCE 27 ANYONE FOR A CIGAR? 28 FRIVILOUS LAW SUITS BY US JAILBIRDS 29 A MISCALCULATION AT THE PEARLY GATES 30 A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT | e-mail Jokes | Joke of the Month | Submit your Jokes | Competition | Link To Comedy Zone Tell A Friend About Us ...

A Lawyer And A Blonde - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
A Lawyer And A Blonde - Laugh Break
A Lawyer And A Blonde
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long Flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over and asks her if she would like to play a game to make the time go by faster. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!", figuring that since she's a blonde (and assuming all the stories are true) that he will easily win.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's her turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? "
The lawyer gives her a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the internet and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he e-mails all his coworkers and friends, all to no avail.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes her up again and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?!" Without a word, she reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Bilingual Lawyer - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
Bilingual Lawyer - Laugh Break
Bilingual Lawyer
But the bandit didn't speak English and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish! Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message.
The lawyer answered, "He said, 'Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"

Ethics From A Lawyer - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
Ethics From A Lawyer - Laugh Break
Ethics From A Lawyer
The older lawyer was giving the new young lawyer a lesson in ethics. He posed this situation:

Season's Greetings From a Lawyer - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
Season's Greetings From a Lawyer - Laugh Break
Season's Greetings From a Lawyer

Stories - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
Bilingual Lawyer
Ethics From A Lawyer
A Lawyer And A Blonde
Season's Greetings From a Lawyer

The Accident - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine.'?" Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, you were fine?"
Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer, and I was driving down the road... " The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

$25,000 Each - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelop containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelops in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.
A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelop in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell.
By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire $25,000."

Loan Request - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

Funny Business Quotes and Humorous Quotations about Business, Sep 6 2009
JOKES PICTURES CARTOONS QUOTES TRIVIA COMEDIANS TV COMEDY SHOPPING FORUMS LINKS Art World Quotes Comedians Quotes Famous Quotes Lifestyle Quotes Political Quotes Relationship Quotes Technology Quotes Business Quotes Entertainment Quotes Humorist Quotes Celebrity Quotes Behavioural Quotes Government Quotes Love Quotes Science Quotes Professional Quotes The Humorous News Mobile Phone Fun Fun & Games Competition Zone Funny T-Shirts Wind Up Calls Comedy Zone Awards Selected Sites : Home : Funny Quotes : Business Quotes Business & Professional Quotes Funny Quotes and Humorous Quotations from The Comedy Zone. Funny Business Quotes << Back to the Funny Quotes Index FUNNY BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL QUOTES Business Dealings (20) Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers (20) Doctors & Medicine (10) Money & Financial chuckles (30) Marketing & Advertising (20) Greed & Consumerism (10) Link To Comedy Zone Tell A Friend About Us Bookmark This Page About Comedy Zone Privacy Policy Comedy Site Map Comedy Zone Home SPONSORED LINKS Aardvark Archie's Guide to Rude Humour Like Your Humor a bit naughtier? Archie delivers! The Joke Shop Your one-stop shop for Practical Jokes, Humour and Fun! When We Were Kids Take a trip down memory lane at relive the good old days! UK Shopping Your gateway to the world of online shopping for UK consumers.. Funny T-Shirts Be the talk of the pub with a hilarious funny T-shirt from the Comedy Zone Shop! Comedy DVD from the BBC Relive all those classisc TV comedies from the BBC Archives! More Zones : Money - Travel - Celebrities - Gambling - Search JOKES PICTURES CARTOONS QUOTES TRIVIA COMEDIANS TV COMEDY SHOPPING FORUMS LINKS All photographs copyright by their respective owners. Site Design and Content by The Comedy Zone, copyright 1999 - 2009

Crime Doesn't Pay - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
A lawyer defended a man accused of burglary with: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Blonde Jokes, Blonde Stories and One Liners from the Comedy Zone, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...
...... DUMB BLONDE! (20) 7 TALE OF THE 'NOT ENTIRELY' UNEXPECTED 8 SPECIAL BLONDE DIET 9 OK THEN, BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED (15) 10 ANY LAST REQUESTS 11 AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE 12 THE BLONDE AND THE LAWYER 13 THE JIGSAW PUZZLE 14 THREE DUMB BLONDES 15 TWO BLONDES AND A BRUNETTE 16 A QUICK RIDDLE 17 ANOTHER QUICK RIDDLE 18 THE BLONDE AND THE SPORTS CAR 19 THE BLONDE, THE BRUNETTE, THE REDHEAD 20 MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS (15) 21 NOT ALWAYS DUMB BLONDES 22 LOADED THREATS 23 THE PACKED LUNCH SUICIDES 24 AT A CROWDED BUS STOP ONE DAY 25 THE MAGIC MIRROR 26 SENDING A BLONDE A TELEGRAM 27 RIDING A HORSE 28 AN OUTSTANDING STUDENT 29 THE TIRED OLD GENIE DOES A FINAL WISH ...

Dumb Criminals - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30 year sentence.

Who's Who? - Laugh Break, Jul 6 2012
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."

http://philip.greenspun.com/politics/litigation/funny-trial-excerpts.text, Sep 6 2009
Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you

Funny Jokes from the Comedy Zone Jokes Archive, Sep 6 2009
... Selected Sites : Home : Funny Jokes The Funny Jokes Archives Only The Funniest Jokes and Funny Stories. | e-mail Jokes | Joke of the Month | Submit your Jokes | Competition | Animal Jokes (97) The chicken crossing the road is only the start of the story with this collection of furry funnies. Lawyer Jokes (66) At light hearted look at those pillars of society and leaders in the field of ethics! Bar Jokes (167) A collection of some of the finest bar jokes, and drinking humor anywhere on the web. Political Jokes (103) My favorite section, the politicians provide a never ending stream of jokes. Blonde Jokes (98) Everything from blonde questions and answers to full blown (sic) humorous blonde stories. Redneck Jokes (148) It's time poke a little fun at the good 'ol boys. You know who you are! Computers & IT Jokes (84) Everything from helpdesk howlers to the Madness of King Bill! Relationship Jokes (124) From the harmony and bliss of marriage, to angelic children and more... Criminal Humor (48) Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when.....

Ethnic Jokes and Cultural Humor, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Submit your Jokes, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Funny Insults and Rude Remarks, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Funny Relationship Jokes and Humorous Adult Stories, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Funny Travel Jokes, Road Rage and Humorous Driving Stories, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Funny Jokes from the Funny Jokes Archive at the Comedy Zone, Sep 6 2009
... Selected Sites : Home : Funny Jokes The Funny Jokes Archives Only The Funniest Jokes and Funny Stories. | e-mail Jokes | Joke of the Month | Submit your Jokes | Competition | Animal Jokes (101) The chicken crossing the road is only the start of the story with this collection of furry funnies. Lawyer Jokes (66) At light hearted look at those pillars of society and leaders in the field of ethics! Bar Jokes (167) A collection of some of the finest bar jokes, and drinking humor anywhere on the web. Political Jokes (103) My favorite section, the politicians provide a never ending stream of jokes. Blonde Jokes (114) Everything from blonde questions and answers to full blown (sic) humorous blonde stories. Redneck Jokes (148) It's time poke a little fun at the good 'ol boys. You know who you are! Computers & IT Jokes (84) Everything from helpdesk howlers to the Madness of King Bill! Relationship Jokes (124) From the harmony and bliss of marriage, to angelic children and more... Criminal Humor (48) Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when....

Funny Stupid Jokes and Humorous Dumb Stories, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Bar Jokes, Drinking Stories Beer Humour from the Comedy Zone, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...

Animal Jokes, Funny Pet Stories and One Liners from the Comedy Zone, Sep 6 2009
... Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Police Jokes Ethnic Jokes Doctor Jokes Education Jokes Funny Insults Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes Political Jokes Relationship Jokes Redneck Jokes Religious Jokes Sports Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel Jokes Office Jokes Joke of the Month Joke ...


Limit of 25 files reached.
New Query: Rank by:
Search results by Webglimpse Advanced Site Search Engine