Smarter Than You Think - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel - they said, because it was bigger.
One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
First Name Basis - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
"John," the new guy replied.
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is... "
Hotline To God - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
John Madden was in Denver to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special phone near the Broncos' bench. He asked Coach Shanahan what it was for and was told it was a hotline to God. John asked the coach if he could use it, and the coach said: "Sure, but it will cost you $100."
The Importance Of Punctuation - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
Parental Excuses - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Answering Machine Messages - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back - only that I won't.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Humour Forum: Comedy Zone Feedback: Suggest A New Comedian, Jan 6 2012
include Louis CK, Lewis Black, John Pinette, Chirstopher Titus, Jake Johannson, Jim Gaffigan, and John Capparulo
Eric Morecambe : Comedian Profile, Sep 6 2009
In his leisure time, Morecambe was a keen birdwatcher, and the statue of him at Morecambe shows him wearing his binoculars. He was also an enthusiastic football fan and a director of Luton Town F.C.. Morecambe also had a love of Long John Silver impressions, which never left him through his life (one can be seen in the 'Monty on the Bonty' sketch with Arthur Lowe).
During this period, Eric Bartholomew (the John having been dropped more or less from birth) won numerous talent contests, most notably in Hoylake in 1939, the prize for which was an audition with Jack Hylton. Also present was another young talent named Ernest Wiseman, already a familiar voice from Arthur Askey's radio series "Bandwagon". This was the first meeting of what was to become one of Britain's most loved comedy partnerships, although it was to be a further two years before they would team up.
After the war, they made their name on radio, before arriving on television in 1955. They appeared together in many series such as Two of A Kind. There were also a number of Christmas specials. They were well-regarded and their reputation enabled them to garner a number of prestigious guests including Angela Rippon, Princess Anne, Cliff Richard, Glenda Jackson, Tom Jones, Elton John and even the then Prime Minister Harold Wilson.
In 1999 Eric Morecambe was voted the funniest person of the 20th Century in an internet poll. Eric pulled in 26% of the votes, beating Tommy Cooper and John Cleese to the coveted position.
Bird Lovers - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
"That's odd," Mrs. Hollis replied. "So does my John."
Kids On Love - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love. (John, 9)
Sports Quotes - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
"I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge." (John Snagge - Boat Race between Oxford and Cambridge)
Bad Analogies - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
(Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
101 Ways To Be Annoying - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
And Speaking Of Intelligence... - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...
Useless Facts - Laugh Break, Jan 6 2012
John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/holiday/independencedayjokes.html, Jan 6 2012
Humour Forum: Comedy Zone Feedback: Web Site Feedback, Jan 6 2012
Comedy Links Directory: Top Rated Links, Sep 6 2009
1980: Film and TV archives at the Comedy Zone, Sep 6 2009
Comedy TV, Sponsored by Play.com • John Lennon was murdered in New York • Robert DeNiro won an Oscar for his role in 'Raging Bull' • Ex 'B-Movie' actor Ronald Reagan becomes President (USA) • Mount St Helens errupts in Washingston • America boycott the Moscow olympics in protest at Russia's involvement in Afghanistan About 1980 At the start of a new decade the world was stunned with the Murder of John Lennon by Mark Chapman.
1963: Film and TV archives at the Comedy Zone, Sep 6 2009
... • UK: The Great Train Robbery netted the infamous gang a cool £2.6m • John F Kennedy was shot and a thousand conspiracy theories were born • The infamous Alcatraz closed it's doors for the last time as a prison • The British government revealed that newspaper correspondant Kim Philby was a Soviet spy • Civil rights leader Medger Evers murdered outside his home About 1963 1963 was a time of great political unrest with the assassinations of JFK and Medgar Evers sparking race riots across the country. In the UK the Profumo scandal broke causing John Profumo to resign and Dr Stephen Ward to commit suicide. You Have been Watching... • The Stanley Baxter Show • The Beverly Hillbillies • The Dick Van Dyke Show • The Dick Emery Show At the Cinema • Tom Jones (Best Film Oscar) • It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World • The Pink Panther • Cleopatra ...
Stand Up Comedians at The Comedy Zone : C, Sep 6 2009
• John Candy
• Andrew 'Dice' Clay • John Cleese
Comedy Links Directory: Cartoons and Comics, Sep 6 2009
Art by John bell
Comedy Links Directory: Australian Comedy, Sep 6 2009
(26 votes) Humour columnist John Martin writes about anything and everything that takes his fancy, including sport, politics, parenting and marriage. Review It
Comedy Links Directory: Resources and Training, Sep 6 2009