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Looking for green in entire archive - Found 54 matches in 35 files
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Joke of the Month, Dec 7 2006
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
......The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas....
......"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn...
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

Kidworld... by Kids & for kids!, May 17 2004
...... The third guy burped, and said, "Catch it and paint it green." The three guys lived happily ever after! (Thanks to Christy) Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white? A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!! (from Nick) ...
... they crashed on earth. The first little dude was purple,the second green and third blue. The little purple dude walked into an opera house and heard “ mi,mi,mi” “ mi,mi,mi” and got stuck saying “ mi,mi,mi” “ mi,mi,mi”. The little green dude walked into the purple cow and heard “ fork & knife” “ fork & knife” and got stuck saying “ fork & knife” “fork & knife”. The little purple dude walked into a candy shop and heard “goody goody gum drops” “ goody goody gum....
On the way back to the space ship a policeman stopped them and said, “There has been a murder and, since you are new to this town, I think you did it. Okay! Let's get this straight. Which one of you did it?” The little purple dude said “ mi,mi,mi” and the policeman said “With what?” and the little green dude said “ fork & knife”.

tongue twisters - a complete dictionary, Dec 7 2006
Three gray green greedy geese,
Three gray-green greedy geese.
Gale's great glass globe glows green.

Knock Knock Jokes - Hundreds !, Dec 7 2006
Fred N Green !
Fred N Green who?
Fred N Green are my favourite colours !

Knock Knock Jokes - Hundreds !, Dec 7 2006
Teresa green !
Theresa green !
Thumping green and slimy is climbing up your back !

Laugh Break Lists - Bulletin Bloopers, May 30 2006
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

Laugh Break Stories - Hotline to God, May 30 2006
The next weekend, Madden was in Green Bay when he noticed the same kind of phone near the Green Bay bench. He asked Coach Holmgren what the phone was for, and Mike said: " It's a hotline to God, and if you want to use it, it will cost you $100." Recalling the previous week, Madden pulled out his wallet and gladly paid the $100.
Madden looked at Coach Fisher and said, "Wait a minute! I just paid $100 in Denver and $100 in Green Bay to use the same phone! Why in Nashville do they only charge 35 cents?"

Monster jokes - by, for and about monsters, Dec 7 2006
What do you do with a green monster?
Why did the monster have green ears and a red nose?

readers jokes sent in by visitors to, Dec 7 2006
Why do elephants wear green shoes ?

Bad Driving Habits, Jokes and Funny Stories, Dec 7 2006
falling asleep at the wheel, just in time for the lights to turn green.
Sounding your horn one nanosecond after the lights change to green if the car in front hasn't sped off.

Computers & Programming Jokes, Dec 7 2006
Bill looks over Saint Peter's shoulder between the pearly gates and sees nothing but a lush green meadow. Deciding to heed Saint Peter's words, Bill asks if he could take a look at Hell. Saint Peter agrees and sends Bill to Hell.
...... Bill returns to Heaven to again discuss his decision with Saint Peter. He again looks over Saint Peter's shoulder and sees only a lush green meadow. Bill says to Saint Peter, "I've put a lot of thought into this decision and it may sound foolish, but I'd like to spend the rest of eternity in Hell." Saint Peter fulfills Bill's request and returns ...

Funny Golf Jokes at The Comedy Zone, Dec 7 2006
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

Laugh Break Stories - The Gift That Keeps On Giving, May 30 2006
Last Christmas, Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was then shipped to Kunkel, who is the plant manager for Viracon's outlet in Bensenville.
Last week, the pants were trucked to Owatonna, 55 miles south of Minneapolis, in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a car with 95,000 miles on it. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment. "This will take some planning," Collette said.

witch jokes - witches jokes - scary jokes, Dec 7 2006
What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?

bird jokes, Dec 7 2006
What is green and pecks on trees ?

Knock Knock Jokes - Hundreds !, Dec 7 2006
Jan of Green Gables !

Groundhog day jokes, fun and entertainment, Dec 7 2006
What's green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?

Real groaners - the worst funny riddles, Dec 7 2006
If the green house is on the right side of the road, and the red house is on the left side of the road, where is the white house?

Royal Jokes, Dec 7 2006
A prince came to a small pool where the most beautiful girl in the world was bathing. On her head was a large, A green frog. What was her name?

Long monster joke archive, Dec 7 2006
So, finally the doctor gave him an anaesthetic and put him into a deep sleep. When he woke up, the doctor was standing beside his bed, holding a great big green monster on a lead.

Monster jokes - by, for and about monsters, Dec 7 2006
What do you do with a green monster?

Joke of the Month: November 2003, Dec 7 2006
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin.

Doctor Jokes from The Comedy Zone, Dec 7 2006
The man replies, "Well, actually, I only eat peas, I hate all other green foods."

Funny Driving Tips for Learner Drivers, Dec 7 2006
Stop at the green lights.

Redneck Jokes, Dec 7 2006
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

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