Bar Jokes, Drinking Stories Beer Humour from the Comedy Zone, Dec 7 2006
Funny Religious Jokes and Humorous Stories About Religion, Dec 7 2006
LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET?
Doctor Jokes and Funny Medical Stories, Dec 7 2006
LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET
Animal Jokes - Pet Jokes - Cat Jokes - Dog Jokes & More, Dec 7 2006
Animal Jokes - Pet Jokes - Cat Jokes - Dog Jokes & More
Links to kids sites- childrens sites, Dec 7 2006
Every kind of animal jokes, cat jokes, dog jokes, elephant jokes, you name the animal, and there are jokes here about them!
We've a large collection of dog jokes and dog humour, short jokes, longer shaggy dog tales and stories, long jokes, humorous dog quotes, definitions, rules and all things funny and canine!
kids jokes for children of all ages, Dec 7 2006
dog jokes, Dec 7 2006
Dog Jokes !
How do you catch a runaway dog ?
What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
Dog Jokes !
animal jokes-pet jokes-cat jokes-dog jokes & More, Dec 7 2006
animal jokes-pet jokes-cat jokes-dog jokes & More
My dog plays chess
Your dog plays chess, he must be clever !
If twenty dogs run after one dog, what time is it ?
Dog Jokes and Funny Animal Jokes, Dec 7 2006
Dog Jokes and Funny Animal Jokes
IS THAT YOUR DOG?
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."
Beer Humor, Dec 7 2006
WELL, I'LL BE DOG GONE
A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says, "I'll have a Scotch and water and my dog would like a whiskey sour."
The dog replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being discriminated against. Just give me a drink."
The bartender says, "Oh, no, not another ventriloquist with the old talking dog trick. Both of you, get out of here!"
"Now, can I have my drink." says the dog.
"Okay." says the dog and he takes the ten dollars and leaves. Ten minutes go by and the dog doesn't come back. The owner returns and asks where is the dog. So both of them go off to see what happened to the dog.
The dog shrugged. "Hell, I've never had any money before."
Laugh Break Stories - Duck Hunting With Dynamite, May 30 2006
They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two bright boys go to the lake with their guns, the dog, beer and, of course, the new Jeep.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the beer, the guns, AND THE DOG????? Yes, the dog. The driver's black Labrador Retriever (used for retrieving- especially things thrown by the owner). You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, reaching the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice- all to the woe of the two idiots who are now yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering what the heck to do now...
The dog is happy and now heads back towards the "hunters" with the stick of dynamite. I think we all can picture the ever-increasing concern on the part of the brain trust as the loyal Lab approaches. Finally, one of the guys decides to think- something that neither had done before this moment. He grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. This sounds better than it really is because the shotgun was loaded with #8 duckshot and hardly effective enough to stop a Lab. The dog DID stop for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on. Another shot and this time the dog - still standing- became REALLY confused and of course scared.
The pooch takes off to find cover with a now extremely short fuse still burning on the stick of dynamite. The cover the dog finds? Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee worth 30-some thousand dollars, the $400.00+ monthly payment vehicle that is sitting nearby on the lake ice. BOOM!
Dog dies, vehicle sinks to bottom of lake, and these two "Co-Leaders of the Universe" are left standing there with the well known "Uh-oh" look on their faces.
Kidworld... by Kids & for kids!, May 17 2004
Tom Pennock, age 8 Q: Why did the teacher exscued the firefly? A: When you got to go you got to go ---by Dalisa, age 13 Knock,Knock! Who's there? howl! Howl who? Howl we gwt away from that mean dog over there? ---Kim What is the one word a dog can say ? Click here to see the answer BARK!! Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Don't Cry it's only a joke.
(by Serene Aria Holder, age 5) Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light! Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk! Question: There are 5 cats on a couch.
Q: what do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant? A: a very nervous postman.
The third guy burped, and said, "Catch it and paint it green." The three guys lived happily ever after! (Thanks to Christy) Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white? A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!! (from Nick) 1. What do dogs eat at the movie theatre ? 1. Pup-corn 2. What did the dog yell when it saw the pieces of a fallen tree ? 2. Bark! Bark! 3. What's a dogs favourite dessert ? 3. Pup-cakes Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road? A:To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Mom Dad: Why couldn't nobody (as in nobody at all) spell it? Cindy: Because Nobody ( the person) Was smart! Dad Mom: Huh?! (By CASSANDRA MADRID, AGE 11) Cowboy: Say, why did you buy that dachshund? City Guy: I heard someone say,"Get a long, little doggy!" Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A: Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night! Q: What's the difference between a baseball player and his tired dog? A: The ballplayer wears a complete uniform, but the dog only pants! (From Janette Cheung, 12) Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Penguin with a diaper rash!! Sara: Where's a cow's favorite place to go? Ben: Where? Sara: The moovies, of course! (Lucy, age 10 - from Arkansas) Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator door? A: Close the door, I'm dressing!! (From Nikko Nori, age 3) Q: What do grown up dogs say to their puppies? A: Hush, puppies! Amy:Would you remember me in a month? April:sure Amy:Would you remember me in a week? April:sure Amy:Would you remember me in a day? April:sure Amy:Would you remember me in an hour? April:sure Amy:Would you remember me in a minute? April:sure Amy:Would you remember me in a second? April:sure Amy:Knock,Knock April:Who's there? Amy:You forgot me already! (From Sarah Mills) One day 3 men caught a mermaid. The mermaid said I will give you one wish each if you let me go.
Animal Jokes And Vet Humour, Dec 7 2006
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.
The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man.
Bar Jokes, Dec 7 2006
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my guide dog."
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar where he asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my guide dog."
Bar Jokes, Dec 7 2006
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
Funny Lawyer Stories, Dec 7 2006
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.
The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff.
The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff.
The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie.
Animal Jokes, Dec 7 2006
A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film.
It's a romantic comedy and when there's a funny seen the dog starts laughing. A little later on there's a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.
In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, "That's truly amazing!"
"It certainly is" The dog owner replied, "He hated the book!"
Bible Jokes and Religious Humour, Dec 7 2006
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."
And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.
And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grand children.
Animal Doctor Jokes, Dec 7 2006
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog !
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws, Dec 7 2006
If your dog gets your neighbor's dog pregnant in Danbury, Connecticut, you are responsible and must pay for the abortion if the neighbor chooses to have it done.
No dog may be tied to a shade tree in Birmingham, Alabama.
An ordinance in Belvedere, California, states "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Laugh Break Lists - Newspaper Ads, May 30 2006
FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART DOG
FREE PUPPIES: ? COCKER SPANIEL - ? SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG... LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT A WHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.
Lawyer One Liners, Dec 7 2006
Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Animal Jokes, Dec 7 2006
THE FIRE DOG
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.
The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.
Laugh Break Quotes - Kids On Science, May 30 2006
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.